What Part of “Shred” Don’t They Understand?

OK, so here’s something I don’t understand.
It looks to me like things that are shredded are more useful AND fun than they were before they were shredded. Take these, for example:

Wood. People put this stuff in their gardens. I’ve seen this when we are on our walkies.

Shredded tissue paper – great for putting in gift baskets. Mom uses this stuff when she makes baskets as gifts for her friends. Everyone says, “Ooh, how pretty” when she uses it.

Paper. My parents shred EVERYTHING. Every piece of mail with their name on it, bank stuff, old records, etc. I guess it helps prevent people stealing their names out of the mail (identity theft), which happens around here.

Shredded wheat – Funny looking cereal. I don’t get any, tho.

Shredded carrots – even tho I prefer mine in chunks, people seem to like them this way.  On second thought, they do look like little sticks, which I do like.  Maybe I should ask mom to let me try my carrots shredded.  Yum. Orange colored sticks.

Shredded cheese – looks cool on food. I’m not allowed to eat it, but I think it smells good.

My parents use lots of shredded stuff around here. I know, because I’ve been busy watching them. Not only that, but they seem to like all of their shredded stuff a lot.

So, when I shred all of the beds they get me, or even the rugs, why do I get in trouble? Gosh, it takes me a lot of time and effort to get them just the way I like them, and then my mom and dad take them away from me. It’s just not fair !!!

Look at these photos. The one with the blue foam is me admiring my handiwork after shredding the foam in my latest bed. Mom was picking it up and putting it in a box to throw away. How sad to see it go.

Then they sneak up on me at night and interfere with me shredding the rugs!!

I was doing it at night while I thought they were asleep because I didn’t want them to catch me and take it away. Darn. So, like, what are they doing up sneaking around with that silly camera in the middle of the night anyhow??? Does that seem like normal behavior to you? Not to me. Everything would have been fine if they had stayed in their own beds like they are supposed to.

♥ Behr Behr, the stealth shredder