Hi. I’m going to tell you a secret. I’m addicted to socks. I’m not sure when it all began, but since I’m only 10 months old, I’d say it’s been a problem most of my life. I just can’t help it, I LOVE socks!!!!!!! I simply can’t stay away from them.

Mom and Dad try their best to hide their socks from me, but no sock is safe with me around. I think the socks are scared of me now, even tho I’m nice to them. I will hunt them down and steal them, and I can do it without Mom and Dad ever even seeing me. I MUST HAVE SOCKS! All of them.

I wait until Mom or Dad opens their closet or drawers, and then I casually saunter by as if I’m asking for them to pet me. They usually do ‘cause they think I’m so cute. It makes a great distraction, and causes them to relax their guard a little. Then when they turn their head for even a split second, whoosh! I grab a sock, and then casually meander out of the room as if nothing is wrong. With a mouth as big as mine, the sock is completely hidden, and even if I turn around and look at them they won’t see it. Ha Ha. Sometimes I open the closet or clothes hamper and steal one. No matter where I am in the house, if I hear a drawer or closet open, I’m there in a flash. Laundry being folded is another great opportunity.

Before you feel sorry for the socks, I want you to know that I have never, ever torn a sock up at all. I just love to collect them and kind of “mouth” them softly. Not one single tooth mark, either.

I don’t understand why Mom and Dad always take the socks away from me. Can you talk to them and ask them to stop doing that please? I really do want to keep them. I’ll take good care of them, honest.

♥ Behr Behr, professional sock thief