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Live report from the oval doghouse.
It’s “ruff” being a puppy in America right now. I heard the news about all the money (787 billion dollars!!!) that is going to be spent to “help people out” in America, but not ONE DOLLAR is going toward us puppies. That’s not fair! Mom read the whole economic stimulus package to me and….well, ok, maybe not the WHOLE thing cause it was putting me to sleep. Anyhow, I didn’t hear the words “dog” or “puppy” in there anywhere. I’ve decided that this is totally unacceptable!
SO, I’m going to run for puppy president. I could be the spokespuppy for all the dogs in America.
Here’s my plan, if elected. I’m going to be the boss of that $787 billion. I”ll build kennels at all homeless shelters so people who lost their homes won’t have to give up their dogs. Dogs are loyal friends, make their owners laugh, bring comfort, and are good listeners. If they don’t already have a dog, they get one.
All dogs get free vet checks, dog food, and spaying/neutering. People living at the shelters will help by building and cleaning kennels, feeding & train -ing the dogs and stuff like that, and get paid for their help. They can clean human shelters and serve them food too. (see, I’ve already created a lot of jobs!)
Then people will come and train the homeless how to start a business, and mentor them as they do start one. Then they will get a small loan to help start the business Their puppies can stay in the kennels while their owners are in class or starting to work again. All new businesses have to be dog related. 🙂
Then I’m making the empty foreclosed houses available for rent at an affordable price. The banks will just have to do what I say . They get in trouble if they complain. People starting dog businesses get free bus passes if they don’t have a car anymore. That means we need more bus drivers. ( & more jobs) To rent one of the empty houses you have to have a dog. If you don’t, you have to rescue one or two.
People who already have houses, but have lost their jobs get the same help with business. Their house payments will be paid for 6 months while they go thru through training IF they adopt a dog (with free vet care and food for 6 months) See? Pretty simple really. This way both dogs and families/people will have a place to live.
I think I could do all of that for WAAAAAAY less than $787 billion dollars, by the way. If only we had a spokespuppy to let the president know what our opinion was. That’s why I’m running for puppy president. See, life is simple, really. Just ask a puppy.
Behr Behr, speaking up for the puppies of America
I’m SOOOOOO excited about a new thing my mom has been helping me with!!!!! I could hardly wait to tell you about it! She had to keep me quiet with lots of snacks, but that was ok with me. 🙂
Since my name is Behr Behr (German for “little bear”), I asked her if we could share bear related stuff with you each week. Together we came up with the idea of “TEDDY BEAR TUESDAYS”, our new weekly feature. Each week, we will feature interesting bear facts, funny stories or pictures, cartoons, and so forth, for your entertainment. I’ve been having SO much fun gathering things to post on Tuesdays!!! I can hardly wait to show them all to you.
So, join my mom and me each Tuesday, for Teddy Bear Tuesdays, ok? We’ll have lots of fun together.
Now, let’s get started…
Sorry, I designed this to look like a newspaper, but it wouldn’t fit as one complete page. See, I’m still learning 🙂
I just wanted to draw your attention to my page labeled “Great Dane Stories Coming Soon”, if you haven’t already noticed it. (it’s been up there a few weeks now)
I am so lucky to have a home where I am treated like the puppy princess that I am, but there are so many danes who are losing their homes and families right now. Many of them had caring families, but their owners lost their jobs and homes, they ended up being turned over to a shelter. You can read this page and see one of the things I am doing to try to help. I know it’s not much, but if it will get even one dane into a warm, caring home, I will have accomplished what I am trying to do.
♥ Behr Behr, AKA the “Care Behr”
OK, Dennis. Now you’ve done it!! This time your wild expeditions have gone too far. A few weeks ago, you dared to go to the brink of the Hall of the Gopher King, deep in their underground kingdom. In the process, you drove them out of your yard and into mine, and my Mom’s not very happy about it. Yes, the gophers have gotten you in trouble again. Just look at the mess they are making in our yard!
My family has lived in this house for 16 years now, and there has not been one single gopher. Not one. Well, that is, until a few weeks ago when your snooping around chased them deeper underground and into our yard.
I remember you even said that they would probably go somewhere else after you tried to spy on them. In your own words…
“I can see that, their secret revealed, gopher workers are already disassembling their sushi buffet and taking down their neon sign, no doubt planning to relocate it even deeper underground.”
I overheard them talking, and even though the talking was a little muffled coming from underground, I did catch the name of one of these guys. His name is Gopher Pile U.S.M.G. (not to be confused with Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C., who wasn’t quite as clever.) These rascals are so clever, in fact, that they leave a scent around the holes leading to their underground kingdom. This scent causes a hypnotic effect on humans who are hunting them down, fooling them into seeing the holes as something harmless, like those found on a golf course. Maybe that’s why you got so close, because this scent apparently doesn’t work on Vizslas.
Also, I heard them say they were part of the Underground Society of Militant Gophers. (thus the initials U.S.M.G) Instead of the peaceful Pocket Gopher found elsewhere, these guys are the extremist Rocket Gophers.
(photo source: http://funnypics2009.wikispaces.com/)
Needless to say, this is a very secret society, so I couldn’t hear much more of the conversation.
I remember you said, “But I will find them again — because I am Dennis the Vizsla, and I never give up!”
Well, that’s good, Dennis. I know where they are now, so come get them please. Gopher it, Dennis. Only you can save our family from these viscious creatures who are taking over our domain.
♥ Behr Behr, undercover agent, currently snuggled up in my warm, soft covers 🙂
Sorry, Mom’s been too busy lately to write about what’s new around here. Meanwhile, I talked her into at least showing you this picture that I think is really funny. It makes me laugh out loud! Have you ever heard a great dane laugh? We do. Mom says I talk a LOT, too. (especially when she or Dad tell me “no” or when I want my foodies RIGHT NOW)
♥ Behr Behr, LOL 🙂